It was recently brought to my attention that this blog might make me look like a person who suffers from a severe case of depression and pops pills day in and day out to make it in this cruel world where everything and everyone sucks. Based on this, I decided that every now and then, this blog deserves a post regarding things that don't suck. Much like the "Six Degrees of Suck", this will only be an occasional deviation from the format I have established so far.
This isn't going to be a long post, I'm afraid. The very reason this blog is about things that suck is because I've discovered that I'm funnier when I complain than when I try to say nice things about people/situations/whatever.
So, now that the introduction part is over, here are five things I think don't suck:
#1: Songs from the 1960s
I recently watched All the Boys Love Mandy Lane, and it sucked.
(Although I can see the appeal.)
The only part that didn't suck was the ending, where they used one of my favourite songs of all time, Sealed with a Kiss, by Bobby Vinton.
Bobby Vinton's version comes from the 1970s, sure. But this song was first sung in 1960, and made famous by Brian Hyland in 1962, whose version is the one above.
And that's not the only 1960s song that's just fucking brilliant. In fact, many of my favourite songs come from that decade: Dream a Little Dream of Me by the divine Mama Cass, Michelle by The Beatles, We Gotta Get Out of this Place by The Animals, the cover of Scarborough Fair by Simon & Garfunkel... these are just at the top of my head.
I don't have a joke to add, as I clearly stated in the beginning. All I can say is that all those times I called my dad "remnant from the 1960s" when I was a teenager to piss him off, I had no idea I was actually giving him a compliment.
As I already said, for the past couple of weeks I've been slowly decorating the house to prepare for Halloween, which is currently only 123.5 hours away, or 7410 minutes.
(Can you tell I'm excited?)
What's so great about Halloween is that there's no religious mumbo-jumbo attached to it. Sure, there may be ties to pagan feasts or Christian whaddayacallit shit with spirits and dead people, but nobody expects you to go to church on the date. All you have to do is dress up, drink, eat sweets and scare people. And watch horror films. And carve jack-o-lanterns. And have fun.
A holiday where all you have to do is have fun, and not feel guilty/spiritual/Christian about it!
(The Pope obviously disapproves, as usual.)
#3: Classic Literature
I recently decided to restart reading classic literature, after a break of about 6-8 years. Contrary to popular belief, this had nothing to do with the fact that classics are free on the Kindle and I'm nearly broke.
(Public Domain Laws, you are my best friend right now.)
I've only read Wuthering Heights and Animal Farm so far, and I started The Old Curiosity Shop by Charles Dickens today. And you know what? I fucking love it.
Yes, classic literature can be heavy. Outdated language or prose can make it difficult to get through a book. Lack of editing may allow for big chunks of unnecessary stuff to exist in already long novels. (Although not a long novel, The Portrait of Dorian Gray's eleventh chapter comes to mind as a bright example. If you've read the book, you know what I'm talking about: it's that chapter where Wilde describes... what was it? According to this, it's the "profound influence the yellow book has on Dorian". Huh. All I remember is jewellery and shit.)
And yet, I fucking love it. I read Les Misérables when I was 11; it took me about three days to finish it, and I doubt I could get through the whole thing if I attempted it now. Still, I'm glad that I've read this book, as well as many other classics. Sure, modern literature is fun and easier to read and there are occasional gems that are quite likely to be considered classics in a century or two, but classics deserve attention too -- and not just from Literature students.
(Although Lit students should definitely be made to suffer for their terrible career choice.)
Not only does rugby not suck... it's fucking awesome! Why? Because take a look at these:
It's like a gay football orgy! What's not to love about it?
#5: Louis C. K.
And this is why:
Oh, Louis. If you weren't so ugly, I'd ask you to marry me.